when P kills P
by Pipermint
Summary: wouldn't you like to know? read the damn fic then!
1. Boom!

Piper blew Phoebe up.Phoebe died.  
  
The End. 


	2. She Did it All for the Cookie

When P kills P: Part II  
  
  
so unfortunatly Phoebe came back to life. How you ask? no one really knows. It was probably the power of the woolly pink hat, after all no one knows what she hides in there.  
  
Since blowing her up didn't really help, Piper was trying a new technique.  
  
We see Piper entering Phoebe's room with a cookie on her hand tied to a string. "Phoebe I have a cookie for you!" Phoebe comes out from under the bed like a rat and jumps after the cookie. Piper runs pulling the string with the cookie attached and throws it out the window, our dear Phoebe jumps after it falling hard on her face and rolling onto the street and 'accidently' gets ran over by a blue car.  
  
"Is this the end of Phoebe?*DUM DUM DUM* Keep tuned for the next episode of "When P kills P."" 


	3. Let it Roll

Ok, I think we all know Phoebe was not going to die that easily. So we see Phoebs coming up the stairs, obviously she was a bit beat up, seriously after falling of a window and getting ran over by a car even a retarded little idium couldn't be fine...so there she was dragging her broken leg ,bleeding from the nose, a huge cut on her forehed between other bruises. But what the hell? She was smiling? Believe it or not she was eating the cookie, it had survived.  
"ooh! I did it all for the cookie!" she opens the door and walks to the living room where Piper is drinking a Pina colada and watching Charemeded.  
"Phoebe?? But I thought I finally suceeded! You never die!" with rage Piper throws the remote at Phoebe's head. "Do you mind giving that back I need to change the channel"  
Phoebe slowly takes the remote back "Piper, can have another cookie? please? please? please?"  
Piper slaps Phoebe about the head and calls Paige downstairs. Rolling downstairs Paige comes (I swear that never gets old) "I'm okay! thanks for asking"   
  
"Paige do you mind killing Phoebe, it's time for "At home with Kt" this episode is a new one where Barney tries to attack kt."  
"Oh no problem Piper!" Paige starts to walk over to Phoebe ,who is still eating her cookie, when Paige trips landing on the gradfather clock. "That better have not been my clock!" yells Piper. Nervously Paige answers "Of course it wasn't...hehe..." Paige drags Phoebe outand takes her to the zoo. "Accidently" Paige orbs Phoebe inside the tiger's cage.  
"Oo nice kitty!" says Phoebe.  
  
  
"Will Phoebe die? Will Paige get beat up? find out on the next "When P kills P"" 


	4. The Zoo Incident

a/n: Woo kit! Woo Anrui! Removed the thing I said here before because it was causing problems, and my flamer was right btw.It was a stupid comment.So, I'm sorry if I offended anybody. d/c: you know the rutine! I don't own Charmed bla bla bla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pheobe stuck in a cage with a tiger, the tiger runs away whimpering and Phoebe being an anorexic whore slides through the bars.  
  
Anyway, since she was already there she stoped to think"since I'm already here I'll stop to think!" so she thought and thought all day until night came until she realized that thinking(at least for her) could be a very deyngeruss(dangerous) thing so she decided to go home.  
  
She walked out of the zoo, everyone staring at her for she looked like a beast from times long gone.As soon as she steped in the street a certain blue car with the plate number "K-I-T R-A-G-E" ran over her.  
  
Very dizzy she get's up and asks."Did anybody get the plate number?" the camera zooms in on Phoebe "No? Oh that's all right, I'm sure it was just an accident anyway" We see Kit go by laughing her tail off, "Yes, just an accident!".  
  
Okay, so for the first time in her life she thought of something smart "Oh! I just thought of something smart! I'm not quite sure what it is though." Randomly Anrui passed by on her bike and slaped the Phoebe. "Ah yes, I'll call Leo!" She said raising her hand. Then she makes a very upset face..."Oh bummer! I forgot my cell"  
  
Stay tunned to see if she'll ever return, and if Piper and Paige will ever miss her!  
  
sneak preview: Back at the manor.  
  
"Paige why is it that we have a room fool of Pink stuff?" Asked Piper.  
  
"We do?" Answered Paige...Piper went over and slapped her "Isn't that what I just said you idiotic *censored*" 


	5. The Return

Back at the manor (FOPM):  
  
Piper is at the kitchen reading "How to Kill Your Husband and Make it Look Like an Accident Part III"  
  
"Maybe I should stop signing up for these magazines...Nothing works...After all it's not easy to kill a dead person." Says Piper. "Paige get your asspect down here now!" There's no answer...All of the sudden we hear something coming....falling down the stairs.  
  
"About time you came down, dearest!" Paige enters the kitchen half beaten up.  
  
"I think maybe I should buy a helmet before going down those stairs again. I don't know but everytime I start coming down I see Prue pushing me. I must be going nuts." "Paige why is it that we have a room full of Pink stuff?" Asked Piper. "We do?" Answered Paige...Piper went over and slapped her "Isn't that what I just said you idiotic *censored*"  
  
The Camera switches room and we see Astral Prue laughing while putting itchy powder in Paige's underwear drawer.  
  
Back to the kitchen:  
  
"Aww Prue, how I miss you!" Cries Piper.  
  
"Aww Prue how I could care less about you!" whispers Paige while rubbing her ass against the chair.  
  
So they go back to their breakfast and we focus on Phoebe again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
On the streets:  
  
"Hey hun, come here and gimme some suga!" Says some random man to Phoebe.  
  
She gets her purse looks around in it... "Sorry man, all out! I do have a couple of mints though, would that do?"  
  
The guy stares at her and shakes his head with pity "She's so pitiful that I'm just going to leave now."  
  
"I guess he's not much of a mint fan, oh well more for me!" She giggles like a little girl.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Okay so by now Paige left to go lesbium herself up and we see Piper in the attic look as the Book of Shi...Shadows... "Hey Prue could you come here a second?" Asks Piper.  
  
Prue floats in "Yup?"  
  
"When do you think is a good time to bring you back to life?" Piper said.  
  
"Well, I don't know, I kinda like being like this..."  
  
"But Prue, you must help me, don't you see what I deal with everyday?" the doorbell rings, "Don't leave" Piper goes get it .  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Opens door.  
  
"Excuse me, but found this uh...thing in the street, it told me to bring it here, is it yours?"  
  
Piper looks at the strange creature "I don't know, it looks very familiar yet I can't grasp the memory..."  
  
"Piper it's me Phoebe, your sex slave, remember?" Says Phoebe.  
  
"Oh! Hi ! Yes yes it's mine, you could leave it there please. Here's your reward." Piper gives the stranger a can of BooWhoo.  
  
"Hey this is awful! But I'm glad to get rid of that thing anyway...good luck" Stranger leave and Piper looks at the blue car with the plate number "K-I-T R-A-G-E" speed away. 


	6. The Return II

"Go clean yourself Phoebe" Says Piper.  
Phoebe goes outside and starts cleaning herself with a hose while the neighbors watch amused.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back in the attic:  
"Ok Prue, ready?" Piper asks. Prue nods.  
"Hmm...I think I might need Phoebe for this." She looks outside "Phoebe get your little rascal ass in here I need you." Phoebe comes running and dripping water   
"Look at the mess you're making!" Piper throws some old rags at Phoebe "Okay now,make up a spell so we can bring Prue back." Phoebe gets her crayons "Pink or hot pink, Piper?" Piper slaps her "Anything hurry up!"  
  
Phoebe starts writing . "Hey Piper, don't you think we might need her body to bring her back?" Says Phoebe. Piper stared at her scared "Did you just say something smart? Well for your information I've already thought of that." she points at a box on the corner. Phoebe nods and starts chewing her hair while writing.  
  
"Listen to this:   
"What is gone and dead  
let it now come back  
our dear Prue that hag  
let she come and shag."   
  
Suddenly the box opens and Prue comes out coughing and undusting herself. "What are you waiting for, go get my lunch Phoebe you little bitch! Hmm...Why do I feel like shagging..."  
  
Paige comes in the door and stares at Prue, Prue TK's Paige out the door "Oh! It works!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Now that Prue is back, will there be peace at last? Don't move! When P kills P will be back next week with a brand new episode! 


	7. Meh

A/N: I know it's been a while, but there it is. It's no where near good…But are any of my stories near good? No. So have fun reading it…or don't…whatever!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Prue started walking downstairs when Leo orbed in.  
  
"Prue what a pleasant surprise! It's been a while…"  
"Chill Leo, I didn't tell the elders who stole their pumpkins."  
  
"What are you doing alive anyway?" Leo questioned with a thank-you-o-so-very-much look.  
"Ask Piper." Prue told him and left the house.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh sunshine how have I missed you…I am as pale as my sister Paige" Prue walked to the nearest tanning booth. "It's ever so warm…I still feel like shagging…"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back in the manor Paige is getting back to her feet after being tked downstairs by her dear older sister.   
  
"Nice to see you too Prue." she dusted herself and cracked her neck. "Yo Phoebe!" Phoebe came running on all fours making ambulance noises.  
  
"You called?" She asked .  
Paige stared at her "Would you like to come with me and stalk Prue, like I used to do in the good old days?" Phoebe nodded and got up. "Let me just grab my hat" she ran upstairs and came back wearing a woolly pink hat. "I'm ready."  
  
They left.  
~~~~~~~  
In the car.  
  
"Phoebe keep your head inside the car!" Paige yelled watching Phoebe sticking her head out the window like a dog.   
  
"But…but…" answered Phoebe just as she started biting the wind "You can't win! I'll get you!"   
  
Paige pulled Phoebe in and closed the window just as she spotted Prue leaving the tanning place.   
  
"Oh Prue, if only you knew the love I carry for you… As much as I complain that they compare me to you, I love it…I try to be like you but I shall never be as great." Paige sighed.  
  
Phoebe licked the window while people outside watched in awe.   
"Phoebe quit it!" Paige hit her about the head with a shoe. "C'mon let's go" she opened the doors , Phoebe fell face first on the floor.   
"Phoebe! If you behave I'll give you a cookie." Paige told Phoebe.  
  
At the mentioning of the word cookie, Phoebe went back to being the normal whor…"lady" she was.   
  
"There she goes walking down the street…Paige?" Phoebe poked tapped her sister on the shoulder who now was lost in space staring at Prue.   
  
"Huh? What? Oh I was thinking about how I need to get a new job, now that prue's back I don't need to be a full time bitc…witch. Anyways let's go talk to her." Paige started crossing the street and Phoebe started to follow when the same bloo car with the plate number K-I-T-R-A-G-E ran over Phoebe.   
  
Prue watching from across the street started laughing, and by "accident" tked Paige in front of a random girl who was walking by.   
  
"Hey watch where you're being tked!" Melissa kicked Paige out of the way.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back in the manor.  
  
"Piper you weren't supposed to bring Prue back until the third full moon of April." Leo told her in his normal useless voice.  
  
Piper started at him "Say what now?"   
  
"You weren't suppose to bring her back." He told her.  
  
"Leo don't be stupid, what harm can she make? She's Prue, she's a charmed one. Plus I need some help around here, it's not easy living with you people. I mean all you ever do is go up there because they're "calling", Paige is a fulltime bitch so she's always around and Phoebe…well she's Phoebe, and you know what I mean by that."  
  
Leo thought about it for a second "Okay. Well, I gotta go. They're calling." he orbed out.  
  
"See what I mean…" she started talking to herself "it's like talking to a wall! Not that you guys are bad, I mean you're my closest friends and I wouldn't trade you for anything…except maybe bouncy walls where I could take Devils with me…but nooo only that lucky ho Little Goth Girl gets bouncy walls and Devils!…" she chattere d away, until astral Prue appeared.  
  
"Talking to yourself again Piper?" She asked  
  
Piper yelped "I haven't anything better to do…How I missed this…where are you guys?"  
  
"Well Paige is scrapping Phoebe off the asphalt, and I was chatting with some random people who adore me, but I got kinda bored and decided to check up on you." said AP.  
  
"That's very sweet, why don't you come home…we can catch up on things you've missed." Piper told her sister who disappeared instantly.   
  
Prue came home with seven strangers. "Piper these people came over to have some tea if you don't mind."   
  
Piper stared at them "Who are you little devils?"   
  
One girl stepped out "I'm Melissa, it's a pleasure to finally meet you and step foot in the fopm…oh these are my friends-, she pointed to each of them, Dave, Olly, Kt, Mari, Hollie and Kayla." They all said hi.  
  
To be continued…. 


End file.
